Hey there my lovelies!
It has been too long since I have spoken with you. Junior year, was the most difficult year for me, not in terms of school work but of LIFE! This year was a year of real life experiences! It taught me to be careful who I trust, how much I trust someone, and to be aware always that human nature is prone to be flaky (yes I said it--we tend to be flaky, lol), forgetful, deceitful (even if unintentionally so), jealous and the list goes on. I also learned that though someone or a group of people may treat us badly, we always have to consider if that person/s are going through some tough life experiences which may cause them to have a bad attitude. Because let's be honest with ourselves shall we, when we are having a bad day, a bad week or just are in a stressful/depressing or angering (is that a word? lol) situation we are not necessarily in our best mood either. We also have to think...hhmmmm maybe it's not them, maybe it's me! Yes, sometimes we can be the ones to blame. I learned that there really are "seasons" to friendships and partnerships. People most of the time do not hang around for the long haul, but are in our lives only for a time either to help us get through a phase or teach us something. And who is to say that those seasonal people are any more or less important that the 'old heads' or our old friends, lol, who stick around for forever?!
I have had a difficult transition from all of the hype my non-profit and I was getting from being on Black Girls Rock to receiving what seemed like non-stop press and media coverage and awards. The fundraising came easier, but now the initial excitement has died down and now I'm faced with reality. Don't get me wrong I was not vain, or did not become vain because of all of the attention. I'm still YAZZIE! And I will ALWAYS BE! After the television feature, after the media, after crossing into a sorority. I'm still Yazzie! I just thank God for all that he is revealing to me as I continue to go throughout life. For some reason, I've always felt that my time is short so I must accomplish as much as I possibly can before my time is up, but I was soon to realize that all of that is in God's hands. He can end life with a breath. That's powerful. I'm sure if you're reading this, you've probably experienced the tragedy of a loved one or close friend passing away, or know of someone who's gone through that...and it caused you to think "Well man, life really is short! And you never know when your time is going to come. It could be now. It could be tomorrow. It could be five, 25 or 50 years from now. You just never know." It is for this reason, that I do not and will not take my life for granted. Though we make lots of futuristic plans for our futures, ultimately we do not control that.
Lastly, I do not mind sharing this with you...The Lord has been leading me more into the direction of ministry. I know there is a calling on my life and I realize now that my undergraduate experience is coming to an end and my life up to this point was only preparation for what is to come. It is after I graduate that I believe my journey is going to truly begin. My friends and peers often seem surprised when I tell them I want to be a minister/pastor in the future--like they don't know that I love the Lord, I love people and I LOVE to talk and share my experiences :) I mean, in college (and even in life) we put so much emphasis on things that don't really matter or truly make us who we are...we are concerned about things like "What should I wear to this," "I should start this org on campus so that people will know I WAS HERE," "I should join this organization or sorority/fraternity so I can prove that I am the best or that I am __you can fill in the blank__," or "I need to get the highest GPA..." Though some of the things I mentioned seemed harmless (like some of you are probably going, what's wrong with that?), and there are not always positive things we think we need to do to fit in, impress people or "make it," but my point is that...though we think these things are...really NONE of these things are in our control. What was destined to happen to each of us has already been written by our Creator...of course we do have choices to make daily, but our lives really aren't ours to own and claim. I can't speak for anyone else, but my life belongs to the Lord. He gave it to me, he can take it away...he can shower me with blessings and he can chastise me all the same.
Anyways, I will be interning in NY this summer at an advertising agency...something that I am BEYOND thrilled about! I've decided to continue my education after undergrad. I do not know where I will end up, but I'm enjoying the ride as best as I can and know how! I look forward to senior year, but more importantly I look forward to what's going to happen after I step foot off of that stage with my first official higher education degree in hand.
Love Always,
Yazzie
