"I Feel Good...I Knew that I Would Now Baby! I Feel Nice!"

I am feeling just AMAZING! I simply let go...I let go of the feelings of loneliness, I let go of the haters, I let go of the self-pity party, I let go of the stressful class....I have learnt that sometimes you HAVE to say no! Actually, when I went home a couple of weeks ago, I met up with one of my mentors and he told me "STOP BEING A PUNK YAZMEEEN!" I almost had a heart attack yah! haha But all in all, he was right. Since I dropped a 4 credit class, I am thinking about picking up a half semester African Dance class with a gentleman from Ghana (2 credits) and another half semester course. That would be a fun class...an easy "A"(cause yall know I LOVE TO DANCE), a great way for me to learn another culture, and of course get fit. And about that...I am feeling incredible. When I dont go to the gym, I do not feel right. I am fitting in jeans now, I haven't been able to fit for a while. I have a pair of stretch white jeans, with gold chain designs on the pockets...YES! YOU KNOW! I have succeeded in that exercising has transformed for me from a dreaded chore into a favorite hobby, a necessity, a fun release of stress! I am so glad I was able to take my own advice I was giving one of my friends dealing with a hard break up and that is to find something you've always wanted to do and DO IT! When you consume your time with positive, fun things you will eventually forget about whatever was stressing you out.
Aside from this, I also started serving as an Usher at PineRidge and guys, this is honestly my niche of service. On my first day, an elderly man came up to me and started telling me of medical issues he was having, and I began encouraging him and flashed the charming smile that can heal any bad day! Haha, I am just joking. Do not take my comment as pride...it is a gift I know I was given to bless others. Yes, a smile can be a gift, a hug, an art craft...what are your gifts? Are you sharing them to inspire others? Also, Tino and I are back on track with our communication...what's ironic is his phone broke about a week ago and I am seeing him more now and talking more then when he did have a working phone. Hhhmmm. Makes you wonder right? But I am certainly not complaining. Lastly, I am preparing my mind and everything for this weekend. I know that the ScholarCHIPS event will be an eye-opener, an amazing experience, and a blessing to everyone who will be in attendance. You do not want to miss it. Again, if you need the info (time/place/etc.) please contact me. I am so grateful to have been delivered from a season of depression. It is possible.
PS: I am reading a book in a series called "Personal Spiritual Warfare" by Betty Miller, it is an empowering, revealing, and enlightening read. If my "eyes open" any wider, my eyelids will burst (haha)...but it's all good, the more knowledge the better. I will be better prepared to fight my next spiritual battle as a warrior in God's army. The enemy is real and he a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. But in the words of Betty Miller "The Lion in us (The Lion of Judah) is greater than the imitator lion." PS 2: Have you ever wondered why the creators of TV shows, video games, etc. never let their own children watch these things? That should be enough to tell you that "something ain't quite right!" lol    Till Next time homie!

Home Sweet Home

Oh my, oh my, my lovlies! Coming home to visit was the best decision I have ever made it such a long time...well maybe NOT that long. haha. Just like old times...talked and laughed with grandma, watched movies before bed, ate well of course, went to my home church, and grandma and I even did "The Hustle." NO! We were not hustling...we did the old dance. You know, dun dun dun da duh da dun dun da, dun dun dun da dun dah dun dah  da.."Do the Hustle!" lol The funny thing is there are a bunch of people out here hustlin'...hustling for fame, hustlin' for love, hustlin' for recognition and attention, hustlin' drugs, and Lord knows hustling money and people. Sometimes life circumstances may influence us to make decisions that will put us in the category of "hustlin." haha How in the world did I get on this subject? But ultimately, we all have the individual power to determine our destiny and chose to do good or do bad. There is no in between. No half stepping. I made up in my mind a long time ago that many people would chose to do bad and try to hustle people to get what they want, but I WOULD NEVER BE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE. Because fo'real, fo'real, when you do those kinds of things, the only one you'll end up hustlin' is yourself!
So aside from the "street word to the wise" info session (I am going to have to do a video blog about that one), I found the rejuvenation I was looking for, that I had needed. Grandma always tells me sometimes I am such a sad, "mad Black woman." haha. Tis true, but tis life. I want you to know though that THIS is by no means sad, but VICTORIOUS! At church yesterday I felt so much love. They prayed for me from the pulpit, in the pews, hugged me, kissed me, sent encouraging words forth my way and even love gifts. They actually understand. I thought I was being so irrational, but they said that I was going through a lot for someone my age. You know, with my biological father (who is still on the loose :)), the non-profit, college...I love them so much and they love me even more! You cannot be sad, mad, or frustrated when you know a set of faithful people love you so much. I know what I have to do now. I was busy looking for people to fill the void in my heart. I was looking in all the wrong places, when I should have been in God's word. For He says "Seek YE FIRST the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you (Matthew 6:33)." So this means I have to seek him first and THEN He will give me friends, give ScholarCHIPS 501c3 status, give me peace of mind and good grades. I have been blessed and now I feel like blessing people! I am going to send my dear friend a birthday card with a little something...though she left me hanging. We all make mistakes and "hustle" (lol) every once in a blue moon...and with that need love, forgiveness and understanding...God has given it to me, so I am going to give it. Shout out to my ST. JOHN UNITED BAPTIST CHURCH FAMILY (The true epitome of God's unconditional love)! "And the greatest of these is love." Guys, when you start to give selflessly out of the softness of your heart, and watch it come back to you, you will began to give with your eyes closed! In plain terms, it is so much better to give than to receive. And don't give stale. What do I mean? If you want to be increased in blessings, you have to increase your givings. You cant keep tossing out the same measly amount of whatever and expect magically more! No!
Anywho, when I am home and sleep in my bed I see visions. Sounds funny, but it's true. Almost everything I dream about at home comes to fruition in the near future. As we are planing out the ScholarCHIPS event on March 3rd, everything is all falling into place. I am not going to spoil any surprises (though it's killing me, I want to tell you)....but you DO NOT WANT TO MISS IT! I want this to be a joyful, relaxing time of fellowship and fun...meeting new people, expanding your network...and coming so I can see your beautiful face! I LOVE YOU AND I WANT YOU TO HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK. If He can do it for an average poor girl like me, He can and WILL do it FOR YOU! #DiaryofaHappy&BlessedBlackWoman lol grandma "Do the Hustle!" hahahaha

Cumpleanos Feliz: 19 Anos Hoy

Well, today marks nineteen years of me living on this earth. 19 years of heartache, pain, tears, joy, love, success...I am grateful. The last time you heard from me things were a wreck. I balled up all my issues and frustrations into one huge nasty ball and it came alive as a MONSTER! However, I made up in my mind that I would not do things or put myself in certain situations that would cause me unnecessary stress. I ended unhealthy relationships, prepared to drop my class, reached out to some of my friends on campus for lunch, etc. i am learning that sometimes if we want to get to know someone, we may have to go the extra mile and reach out. That's not a problem. Also, I also found out why my speech teacher was so kurt the other day...her daughter who is in college is going through a mini life crisis and it's stressing both of them out.

So, you just never know. From now on I am going to love myself unconditionally and not be so stingy with my love, because there are lots of others who could definitely use some of this exuberant love I have stored up and this is not an exaggeration. So with that said....I LOVE YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME :)

The Cinnamon Challenge

Haha. So I just found out yesterday that "The Cinnamon Challenge" is starting back up again. Who would've ever thought that people would be so bored in 2012?! So, if you don't know what it is....a person will take a whole tablespoon of the dry cinnamon spice and swallow it...if you know anything about dry cinnamon in your mouth or sand in your mouth...this is not a good idea! Cinnamon/sand alone is not soluble and it sticks to throat and uvula and in turn irritates them and sucks up all the moisture in your mouth. Inevitably you choke up and cannot breathe. Some people vomit, all tear up, and some even bleed out the nose and mouth...and again, you would ask yourself...why in the world would people want to do this? Well if we ask that, we have to ask why people do a whole lotta dumb things. It is becoming a video phenomenon.
This month overall has not been that great. Thankfully my Valentine's Day evening was my saving grace. So, as a high school student and college student, advisors will often almost always say that you need a mentor. I have a few, but none of them answer my calls/return their calls. I understand that folks are busy...but what's the point of having one or some, if you CANT GET ANY MENTORING?! I give up. There is also someone in my life whom I thought was a friend and they decided to throw their hands up when I needed them the most, but they say "Oh, I am more interested in you." How are you going to be interested in me, if you can't help me when I need you most? Ay dios mio!
Then, I jumped at something that might either be a scam or a legitimate business because of a friend I trust. Why in the world did I do that? You have to go to a bunch of meetings and recruit people, but you dont even understand what in the world you are doing or saying....I do not have time for all that extra stress and in addition, I will have to drop a class. We will get into that another time. LIFE! A lot of folks may say, "Well, Yasmine you have been sheltered all your life and now you are discovering the real world." Well, I have some information for you, FYI....I have always known that the world is cruel...but the determination of my world/street knowledge does not have to be tainted or determined by bitterness...something that so many people have. Why must I be naive just because I have a youthful jolly spirit?! But I will tell you one thing people's selfishness and scandalousness NEVER EVER ceases to amaze me. You're not gonna make me crazy. You are not! NO ONE! You go ahead...stay busy, stay selfish...I have decided that I am not going to put myself through anything/any stress/abuse that I dont have to...be it from "friends," mentors, teachers, family....now granted, everyone in my life is not like that. I am just letting off steam if you cant already tell. Regardless, I am still alive, and healthy and happy believe it or not...the one thing no one can take away from me is my inner joy and I will not let anyone have that! NO ONE.
PS: I was giving a speech in public speaking class and my teacher had the audacity to cut me off. The way she did it, man...RUDENESS. Why couldn't she just tell me and let me finish and deduct points for over-time? When she did it I was at the climax of my speech. how rude.  My speech was about education and opportunities and lack thereof. "We as Americans think of education as a right, but it is actually a rare privilege. Man I swear if I were white or someone else, she wouldnt have done that like that. I am so pissed. Let me stop right here. This is just a part of life right?
Words of Wisdom for LIFE: "If you are NOT present during my struggle, DON'T EXPECT to be present during my success. PERIOD! they say Keep your friends close and your enemies closer...I say "Keep your friends CLOSE AND EVEN CLOSER!" Peace. #Dustingmyselfoff

I LOVE MY NEW CLASSROOM NICKNAME!

I have so much to tell you guys as is definitely obvious from my last post, but I wanted to let you know something quirky that I thought was light-hearted and fun!

I have been doing a little experiment...the teachers around here always ask students, "which name you would like to be called" or "go by," they say...including a nickname. So, I told them I preferred YAZ OR YAZZIE! I have never done this before my entire academic career and I found that I absolutely love it! It's like having a whole new identity. The name comes out so playful, fun, and smooth! "Yazzie, you had your hand up," "YAZ! What's your answer?" "Hey, Yaz!"
One thing I used to love...in primary school and middle school believe it or not, some of my teachers would call me Miss. Arrington! I liked that too, but not as much as Yaz! (My mom used to called me YazzieBow) You cannot say the name/sound YAZ sad, even on accident. So from now on...you know what to call me! :) What's favorite your nickname?

It Was Oil and Now It's Water, War Along The Nile"/ScholarCHIPS Fundraiser in March and So Much More

For the first time in a long time, I am round the clock busy! My second semester class load is heavy. I have a speech due for Public Speaking class on Tuesday. The teacher says that we cannot walk as we talk or use our hands too much. I asked why and was told that it builds our credibility. I laughed in my head and thought, but when presenting publicly (if not behind a podium or sitting down) it is perfectly natural to walk around, use your hands and interact with and engage your audience. If I were watching me standing completely still...I would not want to listen, whether I was a "credible source" or not! Well anyways, this will be quite the test. We are not to lean to one side, cross our legs, use idioms...I never really had those problems anyway, but it will be extremely hard to stand still with limited use of hands. My problem is, I tend to use the paralanguage phase "you know" a lot. When I was young it was "And stuff like that!" haha. Grandma got me off of that one quick! When I tell people intriguing stories I always begin with "Tell me why..." I dont do that in my speeches of course.
Aside from classes, the Elon U Gospel Choir is preparing for Spring Tour (FL)! Exxxccccited! I have to present in my African geography class on starting an NGO. Who would've thought? I am also working on ScholarCHIPS fundraisers at school (ie: football parties, concerts, LoYo profit-shares) but most importantly SCHOLARCHIPS WILL BE HAVING A "FRIENDRAISER EVENT" MARCH 3RD 2012 FROM 4:30PM-6:30PM IN DC. (the scholarship deadline has been extended til march 15th) Message me/comment for more info. You need to be there!
In African geography/history class, we watched a documentary called "The Nile." I learned that though in the 20th century, the resource that caused the most tension and war was oil, in the 21st century, the number one cause of war will be water! Ethiopia is building gigantic dams (funded by China) along the Nile which is inevitably reducing the river flow into Egypt. Other countries that share the Nile are also rioting on how much water they are allowed to use from the Nile. For centuries, based on an old treaty, Egypt has been allowed to use something like 65% of the water from the Nile. What about the other seven poverty stricken countries that share the Nile? ummhumm Keep your ears open, because it is predicted that a lot more conflict will arise, but hopefully they can make a reasonable resolution and come to a fair compromise. If the Nile were distributed even slightly more evenly, these countries could get rid of so much poverty because they would have water for their crops.
Lastly, I want to send a shout out to all of you who have reached out to me! There has just been a recent overflowing flood of love, support, and mentorship that keeps coming. This is rare and Im so grateful for it. You guys are truly the best. I sound all happy and busy, but juggling a million tasks as well as relationships are not easy. It's one thing to do a mini class group project, but its another thing to work with a diverse group of people for years at one thing. Conflict does arise, but God gives me the strength, knowledge, patience and understanding to deal with it all and smooth out the crumpled paper:) Til next time, be breezy :)
PS: Please watch "Let's Do it Again: Obama 2012" campaign on Youtube. It's this young African American singing group (none of them are voting age) who made a campaign song and t-shirts for President Obama! I dont care whose side you're on, they are too cute! If any Obama administration/campaign workers are reading, someone needs to do a re-make of "Ike for President" for Pres. Obama. We have gotten away from the cheery, innocent singalong song campaign adds...why not go back? Im tired of the petty mudslinging.
PS 2: I know you all heard that Whitney Houston died. This is sad, tis true, but what i find so funny is that any time a great celeb dies people watch and post their videos ballistically all over Facebook. The truth of the matter is, we will all one day meet our fate, so do not waste your time because no, "It is not YOUR PREROGATIVE!" haha. get it? Yes, it's corny I know. But it all seriousness take care of yourself and make the most out of your time (in Whatever ways that means to you). I truly do believe that Whitney's drug abuse contributed to her early demise.

My Free Verse--"The Archway"

My imagination brings me to this place. This safe haven. Where His mystery unfolds.

Everyday. Once a day. For 10 split seconds.

I used to think that they were crazy, but here I BLAST my music louder than my thoughts so it drowns out the pain and creates a perfect, harmonious world.

Then I proceed. Walking down the archway striding with the beat, yet graceful.

Not too bold, a slight sway inspires spectators to look on with curiosity

A picturesque ancient African princess I am. People have died trying both to claim me and defend my honor. Adorned with pure gold and the softest purple cloth.

I ensue still. With the snap of my finger, I can build an entire city or start a gory war.

Inhaling the sweet smell of my perfume. Igniting torches as I breeze by, with the reflection of a deep fire burning in my eyes.

Then the sun softly grazes the left side of my cheek. My creator and lover is embracing me with the unconditional love every human longs for. Yearns for.

I find it in this place. HHhhmmm. My journey is coming to an end. On the other side, from underneath the archway, I am in jeans and a t-shirt. No gold, not even sterling silver for that matter. No one watching. No one beside me or around me. Just obnoxiously loud earphones and boots that aren’t made to do for much walking. But everyday I finish the walk home having known once again what it is like to be royalty…having known what it is like to be touched by an angel. The imagined is reality

Everyday. Once a day. For 10 split seconds

But the feeling remains always. The inner fire never extinguishes.   

I AM SCHOLARCHIPS!/Miscommunication is Natural in This Technological Age

I have just figured out why so many projects, non-profits and the like FAIL and sometimes FAIL MISERABLY! It's not because someone or a group of people did not have a great idea and it's not because  they couldn't fundraise or get volunteers...it's one simple word. MISCOMMUNICATION. I have seen it too many times over the course of less than two years. I have been both a victim and an initiator. I won't go into too much detail, simply because it is not worth reliving, but communication is key. I repeat, COMMUNICATION IS KEY, in any relationship or initiative. Email is fine and dandy for while, but with great thanks to email, texting and all these third degree levels of communicating, it is easy to misunderstand someone. Everything has become DE-personalized. We cannot see, hear, touch, or feel someone through a text or email and that leaves us in the dangerous position of power to freely interpret a message however our brains see fit. I made up in my mind that these things will happen. It's just a testament of the times we live in and A TEST of the times we live in. However, I have made up in my mind to not become frustrated when people do not respond to my calls, texts, or emails or when they respond having misinterpreted a message. The Devil wants me to fail. Haters want me to fail. But, these kids will get the help they need...the will get a second chance. They will jump up and punch that glass ceiling smack dab in the middle and it will shatter with a great noise...and the Lord will get the glory. I am owning my life! I am owning my purpose and I am biting the bullet I was blessed with. No time to slow down now! No more time for crying or throwing a pity party. I CAN. I WILL. I MUST. I AM SCHOLARCHIPS!