Marriage: A Fantasy Now, LOVE will just have to take the back seat

This weekend was one of the best weekends I have had by far. Peaceful. Relaxing spending time with the one I love...and I wasn't even at a resort. Easter Sunday Tino and I brought along 3 friends and Pastor Tadd Grandstaff preached the best Easter sermon I have heard by far. I cannot say enough how anointed he is! He is full of the Spirit and full of the Word! On Saturday morning, I volunteered to be a "fairy- godmother" for some local high school students for this event called the "Cinderella Project." It was an event to prepare girls for prom and college. At the end they were able to pick out dresses that were donated and there were free prizes all over the place! That evening the volunteers at church had a special service and Communion. The folks that drive us to and from, Will and Leslie Hatten were ordained that night. That is when I realized that God still loves me and he loves me so much that I came this far away from home and he still has put me safe in the hands of the best...not just anyone, but a Pastor.
Anyways, so that was my great weekend squashed into a nutshell, because I have something burning on my heart that I have to share, though I never know who's reading...I hope this may help other young lads going through the same. Ok, so I REALLY WANT TO GET MARRIED, but there are a few...no actually a lot of problems with that. I just can't! Down here, it is much more common to get married at an early age and I see them and they all seem so happy. But unlike most of them, I want to travel and do not plan settling down here for the rest of my life and living with my parents and my parents' parents, etc. In addition, I/WE also do not have the money. There is so much that goes into marriage...I MEAN, FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. We would need money saved up for two cars, a house, bills, etc. (It is a known fact that most marriages end because of financial issues.) We need careers and an independent life. At least this is how society is set up now and this is what the status quo tells us is best...but honestly, they're right. In my emotional, spiritual mind...LOVE CONQUERS ALL AND ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE WITH GOD. Yes, this is true, but "love" alone is not going to put a roof over my head and feed my babies' mouths. I honestly think that young teens who feel they are "in love" don't often think through these things, so I must. They get involved way too quickly and PPPOOOFFFF! A BABY! Now, no marriage, no money...just "LOVE" that usually always fades and the girl is stuck with a baby and her parents, still poor with a mediocre job maybe go back to school, but usually that's about as far as she's gonna get in most circumstances. So I would be a fool to let "love" get in the way and keep me in the depths/borderline of poverty for the rest of my life.
Love is an amazing thing to have and share with another individual, but if young and still in school, without a career and no money, LOVE becomes much more complex.
The sad truth is by the time I do all of this I will be 35 or if I'm fortunate in my late 20s! Now what makes me sad, is I see so many young white gals n boys getting married...but their parents usually have the money and resources to pour into their children. Tino and I are two very poor individuals madly in love, but when the funk hits the fan...LOVE will have to take a back seat. What makes the situation even more saddening is that I cannot go over my dad's parents' house with Tino respectably til I'm married, so what's even more sad is that they will not be seeing me for a long time, or at least like they used to. WHY IS MODERN DAY LIFE SO DIFFICULT?! In a lot of ways it would be much better for me to be single at this point, but my life definitely wouldn't be as fun and enjoyable alone. We are not made to be alone, none of us. In whatever I do I have to make sure I keep God first on the throne of my heart and my education, career, and future second. As a matter of fact, I am married! I am married to Jesus, the King of my heart and HE will give me away when the time is right...at the appointed time. Sigh